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jooliandix 12:05 Sun Apr 28
Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I’ve done it,in the Mongolian restaurant in Covent Garden,too much beer,too much spicy food,only one shitter and a bloke was in it doing bugle,I was doubled up in pain,as he opened the door I stood up and shit myself in one fluid motion,I only had my socks and pants to clean up with,the wife went crazy,the only saving grace was the cab to take me home was a Tottenham fan,I ruined his night as well as my wife’s.

Mad Dog 2:21 Wed May 1
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Not a proper shite in pants situation. But when I've had bum gravy, I've occasionally dug for gas and struck oil

yngwies Cat 11:58 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I Shat
the bed today in fact. Contracted some bug that had me puking and shitting at the same time, fortunately not out of the same orifice. Thought I was melting at one stage. Not nice.

medwayhammer1 11:45 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

You really don't know you have shit yourself until you have the delights of a colostomy bag!! There's many but my best moment was probably walking down the main drag in Salou on a busy daytime, felt stirrings down there checked and a little bit just spouted out and on to the street.. Just in front of a disgusted local gentleman with his wife! Honourable mentions to the main tourist drag in Golden Sands(that was a good one) and last Christmas in the Spoons in Rochester... that was grim! Happy days.

Gavros 6:45 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

OK. You'll have to come into London though. There's no way I'm lowering myself to travelling out to fucking Shenfield of all places.

Block 6:43 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Come on then?

Gavros 6:42 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Shut up, silly bollocks.

Block 6:38 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Never happened.

Gavros 6:34 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Russ of the BML 5:05 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Yeah I had that. Dodgy prawns in Kas in Turkey, and next morning im puking into the bog while pure brown water is pissing out of my arsehole onto the (thankfully tiled) bath floor.

monto 6:27 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

1998 Followed through in Bobbys Bar Tenerife. Went over to Maccy Ds and had a clean up. Popped the crap filled Calvin’s in one of their bins, ploughed on commando for the rest of the night.

diehardhammer 5:21 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

hahaha some of these stories are hilarious

Mart O 5:19 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

y2smif 5:05 Tue Apr 30

I did actually Laugh Out Loud at this. And yes. I have.

Aalborg Hammer 5:06 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Worked in Libya and the office (run by locals) was always very relaxed about getting us our passes on time..passes for the office,the site and the canteen which wasn't too bad.I had to eat in the canteen for the local workers one evening...the stew wasn't too bad even though it was goat...everything was OK until 3 in the morning when the turtles' head appeared and I had to make a rapid sprint to the bog where I sat for easily two hours...I got up to go to work in a shared Fiat 124 and had an arse like a Buglers' lip and,on hitting a bump,it was Pearl Harbor...not too popular with my fellow travellers,to say the least...I had to take the car to the garage to steam clean the inside ,luckily the seats were vinyl ...it was a week before everything settled down and I had my own tatty Datsun to get to work and back..

y2smif 5:05 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I wasn't wearing clothes so technically I didn't shit myself, but it still wasn't my proudest moment.
A few months back I was having a nightmare filled gout attack like I'd never felt before. The Dr prescribed me something called colchicine which I'd never had before, but she told me not to stray too far from a toilet whilst on it.
Got through the afternoon and evening with no problems, no jippy stomach or gurgling sounds. Went to bed and woke up in the night to go for a piss. Completely forgot I was on this medication since I felt no difference, so attempted a bare arsed fart as you normally would to accompany a jimmy riddle. A red hot jet of liquid shit propelled from my arse, across my bathtub and floor. It was fucking horrendous. So there I am about 3am, cleaning up a diarrhoea covered bathroom hobbling around on a comically large inflamed big toe.

Any takers ladies?

Russ of the BML 5:05 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Only once for me. A really bad stomach bug. Middle of the night, kneeling down, cuddling the toilet throwing my guts up and my body decides to discharge the other end and I shit all over my own feet.

My missus came in. Shook her head. Run a bath and threw me in. It was the safest place for me at that moment.

Russ of the BML 5:02 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

"I'm standing there on my own, on my birthday, in the dark, in the cold holding a box of fucking fairy lights with cold shit running down the back of my legs"

One of the funniest things I've read on here for years. Proper made me laugh that.

boleyn8420 4:40 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

You dirty bastards. I am 62 and I have NEVER shat myself. No wait a minute, I can't remember shitting myself, ah, old age it's a wonderful thing

normannomates 3:36 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I have no intention of reaching old age..

Ain't worth it

I'll go on my own terms.. and it don't include being bounced about by some African mama lookin for entertainment on its lunch hour.. Or half hour.. if I get a touch
I like a big arris on a bird..

normannomates 3:26 Tue Apr 30
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

YIDS.. Every season.. Haven't been dry once.

They haunt me

GingerHammer 10:32 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Sod it. 'Scuse me, I'll be back in 10.

eusebiovic 10:03 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Old Joke Alert

Two tramps sitting on a park bench and one says to the other...

"Have you done one?"
"Course not" came the reply

A few minutes passed and again he asks

"Have you done one? Admit it if you have"
"Course not, what do you take me for?"

Some further time passes and convinced he asks

"You've done one haven't you? I can smell it, you dirty old bastard"
"Course not how many times do I have to repeat myself? Check it if you want to make sure"

So first tramp pulls the elastic back on the second tramps trousers and see a massive log nestled inside his grotty underpants.

He says "I knew it, I just fucking knew it you filthy old cunt"

Second tramps replies "No mate, you've got me all wrong - that one's from yesterday!"

eusebiovic 6:35 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

It's a terrible thing when it suddenly dawns on you that after your late 40's you can never truly trust your farts ever again. It's a doubleedged sword - glory or congealed cloth

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